I should really drink less coffee

Today, we continue to visit the past, as I bring you the second of my collegiate journal entries. Saying this one was, eccentric, would be kind. It would also be a lie. This was weird, even to me. And I have a high tolerance of weird and I wrote it. So it is heavily edited. I know I wrote it at 2am freshman year, but if I didn't know I that I didn't do drugs, I would swear I had done some. So what follows is a more coherent, slower paced version of a day in my life, circa '00.

I have noticed that in my life, things seem to spiral out of control, uncontrollably. One thing leads to another, to another, and then I'm playing Goose to your Maverick. For instance, let us say that someone wakes up late for their 8am class ( I know none of you have ever done this) so you have to skip the shower, put on yesterday's clothes and bike like a Plutonian Nightmare to make it class. Once you get there, the only seat available is A) the one that has a broken arm thingy and the desk won't stay in place and keeps dumping your books on the person next to you B) who happens to be that really cute girl you've been crushing on. Ok, this isn't so bad, you can still make a good impression except that you came in late, dumped your books on her and smell like you didn't shower and biked like a man possessed to get there (which of course you did).

So you made it through class, only failing the quiz by a point or two (should have studied!) and you go to stand up, and catch your pants on the broken army thingy and ripping a gigantic hole in the general area of your buttocks. Good news! The only thing clean about you is your underwear! Bad news, it rained while you were in class, and your bicycle seat is sopping wet. So you have choice, you can either sit and soak your undergarments (unpleasant), or ride standing up and stay dry while affording the whole world a view of the gigantic hole in the general area of your buttocks.

Later that day, you and your friend are hanging out and he goes to find his wallet, but his wallet isn't there. You and he proceed to look for it without success. You turn the dorm room inside out and you even go so far to check his car, which he hasn't driven in a few days. He proceeds back to his car and cancels all of his credit cards, debit cards, Aggie Bucks, etc. Then he sits down and finds his wallet. Not a foot from where he was standing. So now none of his cards work, and he doesn't have a lot of cash and can't get any any time soon. So to liven the mood, you decide to treat him to a late movie and you go to his car to drive over there. Except his car won't start. It seems he left the dome light on after searching for his wallet, and it drained his battery. So now it is 12:15am and you guys are looking for someone with jumper cables and is willing to teach him how to use them. You know how to use them, but why spoil the fun? Besides, give a man a fish....

That was a bad day. The first part about the biking, that was true. Happened to me. I had repressed that memory. For the record, I chose to sit down on the bike, but it was so uncomfortable that I ended up half standing, half crouching awkwardly. So I was wet and embarrassed. Compromise is a bad thing. The second part about the wallet happened to my friend J. and me. It was his wallet. Good times.